Oct
06

Nicole Week 6 100WC

Filed Under (General News) by on 06-10-2014 and tagged , ,

I am in France celebrating my twelfth birthday another whole year of being blind. I was born in Japan in a town called Nagasaki but my mum was sad to hear that I was blind…As I grew up I got used to not seeing anything because my mum kept close to me she made me feel special. When I was ten my mum bought me a guard dog to help me see. Since then I have been drowning in my own tears praying to god ‘’please heal me lord’’ .In fact I am praying now …suddenly I was able to see again…

MUM!!!!!!



2 Responses to “Nicole Week 6 100WC”

  1.   Miss Rogerson Says:

    I thought this idea was really clever, if you’ve used less words for your build up, you could have described seeing in a little more detail.

    Well done!
    Miss R

    Reply

  2.   Sarah Team 100WC Says:

    Hi Nicole, this is a very interesting story. I like the build-up to the climax.

    I would just suggest that you pay careful attention to verb tenses as it can be confusing to the reader to jump from present to past as in your last sentence.

    Also, I think you meant a guide dog (for the blind) rather than a guard dog (for protection).

    Keep up the good work!
    Sarah Team 100WC
    Montpellier, France

    Reply

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